Essay4 rough draft
Here we can see that in 2012 once the US starting withdrawing troops from the middle-east is when we first start to see suicide deaths outweigh combat death; now we have lost more service members/ veterans to suicide than we did in both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
Here we see the total number of suicides throughout American and veterans account for 20% of these numbers. We also see that males are much more susceptible to suicide.
PTSD is one off the leading factors in suicide amongst service members and veterans; 22 veterans take their lives every day. In the military people are considered weak when reaching out for help, both mentally and physically; they need to break this stigma and make service members feel like they are actually cared about.
The “Til Valhalla Project” is a program that raises awareness for suicide prevention amongst veterans. In the military there is phrase in the military “Until Valhalla” meaning “I am with you until death”.
The U.S. military has declared September has suicide prevention month.
Suicide is a problem that is just a problem in the military it is a problem faced all over the world. Mental health is something that needs to be taken more serious in todays society; its is just as important as getting help for any physical injury. Ask a friend How they’re doing instead of What they’re doing.
The images are appropriate and arranged in a way that is easy to understand.The graphs give information, and your descriptions help to add in information that may not be clear in the graph. There is a citation for each description, but could maybe be put in a more simple MLA format. It will be easier to read if the links are not as long. Overall, I think you did a good job and I learned new things from reading the essay.
Photos seem appropriate, though quite a few graphs. I’d suggest maybe flipping first and second graphs, to start with more general background, then narrow to military situation.
“Para.” or caption development is a little weak. I’d suggest adding some researched info to explain more about the topic–maybe some explanation or description, what researchers say are causes/solutions, something that does more than just put the graph into words. (You can use some of the info from your Essay 3 f it fits.)
Some of info here seems to need citation (e.g., PTSD leading factor of suicide), and additional citation needed if you beef up depth of info in caption-paragraphs. For in-text citation, follow this format, under the photo (in italics):
Title of photograph/image (Source–e.g., Library of Congress, National Archives, or web site title). Rather than use the google search URL, click on the image in google search to go to the site where it appeared (it’s Statista for the 1st one, for example). Include Works Cited for images and any info (image WC is a challenge, though, with limited info often.)